That fence, it's an impenetrable wall as tall and long as the Great Wall of China, in the eyes of my girls.
They have tried to scale stone walls to peek into the neighbor's yard. They talk to the neighbor's children through the open slats of the wooden fence. They stand on their toes on the porch to see if their bubbles can blow into the neighbor's apple tree.
But they have never run barefoot across yard after yard of neighboring houses, joining in with neighborhood children in a game of freeze tag in the dying rays of the summer sun. And I don't know if they ever will.
Neighborhoods are not the only things divided these days. So is our country. Our country has become so divided we can't even talk over the fence anymore.
I frequently hear the team names being thrown around: "us" and "them," "wrong" and "right," "Republican" and "Democrat," "in" and "out."
My oldest daughter speaks through the wooden fence and asks the two children on the other side to join us at the playground. We all throw the Frisbee, getting other children at the playground to join in.
If only it were that simple for the men and women playing ball in D.C.
But are we truly united in our neighborhoods despite the fences that pigeon-hole us in our backyards?
Sure, we may say hi and remember our neighbors' names. We may bring a casserole over to the newbie on the block. But how many of us sit on the front porch of a neighbor's house, talking and watching our children play together? How many of us plow our neighbor's driveway? How many of us join hands to stop crime on our street?
I don't. I wish I did. But beyond the simple five-minute conversations we have in our driveways as we cross paths, I don't know much more about my neighbors. I know more about my readers here on my blog.
Why are we becoming a nation more divided than ever before? Is the root of the problem based on how we are isolating ourselves as individuals within our neighborhoods?
How do you keep up with your neighbors these days?
9 comments:
When I was a kid we knew all of our neighbors. Now, we only know one neighbor and it's because one they work with us.
You need to come back to Canada! We're pretty lucky with the neighbourhood we've been in for the past 2 years. I think the average age on our street is 3 and a half. We have fenced back yards, but Annie and her friend Arthur from two doors over will stand on chairs at the fence and call to each other "wanna come ride bikes?" And it's funny what you mentioned about plowing neighbours driveways, because there is a lady on our street that does this and she also vacuumed another neighbour's house when she was in the hospital.
Sorry, the previous comment was mine but it says "Unknown said..." Don't mean to be sneaky!
:) I knew it was you Kati even before you mentioned Annie! Yes, we miss Canada. Our neighbors, Rita and Tom, were amazing and we felt like we had a set of grandparents while living there. I don't think Ayla remembers them, so a trip north would be great!
Jessica, we were the same way. We knew neighbors more than 10 houses down! Now it's just the few around us. I am perfecting my Spanish with them as they all only speak Spanish :)
Great post Kimberly.
I can go for weeks without ever seeing my neighbours. I see "Unknown" is saying that in Canada we dont' have this issue, but I'm Canadian, and believe me, my neighbourhood is very private.
You are right about our divided we have become in our nation and communities. I lived as a kid in open neighborhoods where there was probably only one or two backyard fences in 5 or 6 blocks. We kids ran all over everywhere and all the parents would watch out for us or scold any of us if we were up to no good. Now our propensities for dividing and hiding behind the fences just makes it easier to separate people into "us and them"; not good at all. We lived in California for 7 years and tried very hard to know our neighbors, but, fences were tall and people just did not want to know their neighbors. The friends we made were all through the local gym where we would see each other nearly every day and hang out later and go to parties with everyone.
Where we live now in Charleston, SC, we have open front yards and although most of the backyards are fenced, they are fenced primarily for pets and young children. We know all our neighbors and kids by name and even though we have been here for 12 years, we are only 5th in seniority and that means folks have been around a while.
It's so much easier to have differences of opinions when you are friendly neighbors, you can just agree to disagree and then have a beer together.
It does take an effort though, walk around the neighborhood and meet people, say hello, introduce yourself and knock down those fences.
I hang with my neighbors. The best thing about all the ladies on my street is we mostly have nothing in common on paper but love spending time together.
You are right though, people don't talk anymore. They get in their car in the garage and you never get to see them at all.
what rally stroke me as odd when we moved here last year was how parents never said hi to anyone during preschool drop off...
I love the new design!
As for us, we drive 45 minutes to go to the 'city' and bump into our neighbor leaving Kohls. Second weekend we've gone to the 'city', and the second neighbor we've bumped into while down there.
I'm starting to think its the only way to meet the neighbors! It's been 90 plus degrees for a few weeks now, honestly it's too hot to go outside to try to met anyone.
I haven't lived in many other countries other than the U.S. (Japan, Canada, and Costa Rica), but I've experienced different neighborhoods in each country. Perhaps it is a global change, maybe not in all countries, but in some, where people don't become 'friends' with their neighbors as much as people used to. But two generations ago, that was one of the only ways to connect with people. My grandparents didn't have social media. I wonder what it will be like in two more generations?
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