A Little Girl's Daddy

"My girls are going to miss their papa."
The words drummed in my heart, over and over. Through the tears. In the silence.
My second daughter turns three today. Last year she was hearing Papa sing happy birthday to her over Dora candles.

And now, my words encompass more than just my girls missing their grandfather.
I miss my dad, too.
The little girl inside of me still is crying for her daddy. And I don't care if it makes me feel childish, it's just the way it is when a woman loses her father.

Summer memories of my dad are surfacing...

1. Last summer he awarded his oldest granddaughter, not yet even four years old, a gold medal for reading books with him.

And now I wish he could hear her actually read her first book aloud.

2. We spent summers traveling up and down and all around the Midwest for soccer tournaments.

And now I wish I could recall the details of our conversations.

3. He took my two sisters and I to a cigar shop in our early 20's and we all shared our first cigar standing around his car.

And now I miss the sound of his voice, calling me "Kimmie."

4. He blasted me off his knees in swimming pools on family vacations.

And now I remember him teaching my oldest how to swim last summer.

5. How we devoured my mom's fresh fruit and veggie plates in the hot Memphis sun.

And now I miss baking Christmas cookies for his sweet tooth.

6. I loved that he took his mother and father-in-law with us to Hawaii, giving them first class seats.

And I miss my own Papa and Grandma, so much.

7. Last summer he played Candyland with my daughters, showing more patience with them than I had.

And I miss our game marathon summer days from my childhood.

8. When I worked for him one summer at the Budget Rent-A-Car lot we often played racquetball together at the end of the day.

I miss my dad, my coach, my workout buddy, my competitor.

10. When he opened up his own bakery, enlisting the help of my mom, my sisters, and me, we sweated through the Illinois summer in front of the hot oven and loving Fresh Bread Tonight.

I miss the comfort, the safety, the devotion, the love, the joy my dad gave me every day of his life.

Summer memories are all I have now of my summers with my dad.