Writers Link Up Your Hooks and Start Commenting!
From today until Sunday you can post a link to your blog through the Hooked on Hooks linky that is available at the end of this post. To do so, just add type the name of your blog and the URL for the specific post in the box below!
The only requirement is to stop by at least three other campaigners blogs to give them comments about their hooks. The WIP may be any piece of writing (short story, essay, fiction, children's book, MG, YA, chic lit, fantasy, article, poetry, blog post, etc) that you are currently working on. The first few sentences (your hook) may be for the beginning of your WIP, the beginning of a prologue or chapter or sequel. If you write poetry, it may be the first few stanzas. You may share one or two hooks on your blog, because you're more likely to get feedback on one or two rather than several.
This event is made possible through Rach Writes Third Writers' Platform-Building Campaign!!
And if you don't mind, please take a moment to read my hook and comment on it!
Thank you!
This is the opening for a short story I am currently working on:
My Hook:
My previous brain expired at the age of eight. On the eve of its death I fell asleep wiggling my last baby tooth and dreaming of a newly minted silver dollar. My teacher had already slipped the bomb earlier in the year: Santa Claus did not exist. Two plus two and my little boy brain extracted the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny out of the equation, leaving only my parents to pick up the slack.
27 comments:
Great hook! I love your first line.cru Very relatable! I can remember bawling almost the exact same thing to my mom, "If Santa isn't real, that means the Easter Bunny isn't real either." Though at the time, I had known this for months. I just wanted the attention. :)
I wasn't aware of "hooks" before I read this. Interesting Hook! Looking forward to the rest of the story :)
I really like your hook, especially the first line! It definitely makes me want to read the story! Hopefully, I've linked mine up (but you never know with the technology-challenged :)) Thanks for this fun idea!
That is amazing, and a brilliant voice!
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Join me at the Rule of Three Writers' Blogfest!
You had me at "My previous brain expired at the age of eight." Very memorable first line. Sets the reader up to expect anything.
You go further to give us some more intriguing tidbits on "why" such a change had occurred, and in such a way that you can't help wanting to know more.
In one of the worst events that can happen to a writer, last night my computer crashed and I lost nearly 5 years of written work.
I'd very much been looking forward to participating today. I guess I'll need to start over. I love the idea of this post today and I can't wait to read what everyone has written.
Great hook, it sounds like it would be an interesting read.
I love your first sentence! Definitely raised questions for me, the "previous brain" concept. I was eager to read on because it was also intriguing. The last sentence was a little confusing for me, simply because I don't know how old the protagonist/narrator is (and this would probably be eliminated by reading more of your story), so I kept thinking, an eight year old would definitely not talk like this. But your first sentence and tying the previous brain to being his childhood, gullible, imagination brain really worked! Nicely done! I would keep reading!!
I just want to add, thanks for doing this great little blogfest. What a great idea!
Love this! Great one Kim.
Your opening set a great tone. I can tell this will be a story told by a witty character that I think I'll like. That's hard to pull off in one paragraph, so good job!
I love the first line, too. All of this makes me want to keep reading.
What a great hook! Great voice and tone....and you leave me aching to know what you mean by "previous brain!"
That is an excellent hook. Definately caught my attention with the second brain comment and I enjoyed the whole death of the childhood fantasy figures theme.
Wow, Kim! Great hook!! I would like to read more, please!!
That's an interesting hook. I'm intrigued to know what the whole story is about. You've 'hooked' me in.
Thanks everyone for reading my hook and commenting on it! I've written this short story from the perspective of a 20-something year old man who is looking back at the time in his life when his addiction started, so it is written from the character's first person point of view as witty and humorous when he looks at his eight-year-old self to mask his anguish over becoming an addict at such a young age. Kind of a dark short story with a twist. I'll be sure to share more with you once I've finished it!
I just wanted to stop by again and thank you for your comment on my post! This linkup idea was so helpful to me, so thanks!
And if you're interested in reading more, I have a tab at the top of my page for each of my WIPs, and "The Exception" is one of them. I've posted some stuff from it for different writing prompts here and there, though the stuff I've posted is very raw and imperfect (still in the revising stage).
Thanks again!
I am hooked... job well done. I already get what you mean by your brain died but does this mean a second brain is going to die? And why would that teacher drop that bomb?! What is your story about?
Excellent first line, I love the character already. He's really funny, sarcastic and he's got a lot to say.
Great wee blogring, too! Coincidentally I posted about story beginnings yesterday as well! :)
- andrea
I really love the *idea* of your hook, but some of the language seems a bit awkward (or wordy) to me. I'd delete "on the eve of its death." "Slipped the bomb" doesn't exactly make sense, we say drop the bomb, but slipping a bomb would be hard to manage. And I'm not catching the exact sense of your equation -- does the boy fall asleep after deciding the tooth fairy doesn't exist? I guess I would say, write what you mean in a more straightforward way. You've got such a good idea here you probably don't want your meaning to be murky. Of course, this is just one opinion. And thanks for doing this hook hop--it's a terrific idea!
interesting hook!!!
Wondering how the rest of the book looks like!!
with warm regards
Another Author
I loved that first line! Made me want to read more!
I absolutely love this hook. The first two sentences in particular are incredibly strong.
And it's SO sad too. Brilliant.
I love the first line especially. I can relate to that. and I loved how he worked out from that other beloved folk figures aren't any more real. I would definitely want to read on.
It's a great hook with loads of emotional pull, but without knowing the age of the MC I would guess he must be adult. Use of words like previous, expired and extracted imply an adult voice. I put my MG through a class of 7th graders last year and had to change a lot of words previous generations would have understood at that age. Even if they understand they don't talk that way. If your MC is young, try "my baby brain grew up" and "pulled out". I haven't posted mine yet. I'll get to it next.
Now I see the hop expired. I hate finding something and then finding out I'm too late. That was a very short period. Any chance of extending? I even got my blog post ready and then went back to check the deadline. It was past. sigh.
That's quite an observant little kid to determine that if Santa isn't real that all the others aren't as well.
And how rude of the teacher to say something like that.
Poor kid, I feel sorry for him.
'His previous brain expired' does it mean that his childhood ended there? I imagined the sentence to mean something like that, his belief in fairy-tales fading and stepping into the adult world of reality.
Interesting that he knows the tooth faerie isn't real yet he's dreaming of a silver dollar. It seems like the Tooth Fairy wasn't the point, but the money and he isn't too dismayed that she isn't real.
I like your hook and would want to know more. How did his parents react they learned he doesn't believe in Santa and the others anymore and how did it affect his life afterwards.
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