I told myself it's okay to unplug. I am weary of the Internet, social media, the lack of privacy. Every day I have the desire to delete my Facebook account. Then I see the photos of my girls on there or receive news about my husband's ship, and wonder if it would be a mistake to delete my account.
I rarely use my email anymore.
I really truly kind of want to move to Costa Rica with my family after my husband retires from the Navy in a handful of years. I don't think we'd have to live like I did before, without running water, indoor plumbing, or electricity, but maybe we could live more simply.
And since I am on this rant, I just really want more sleep. With my husband working from 4a.m. to 7p.m. or later, and on weekends, too, I miss him. Our daughters miss him. There is no free time to blog, read books. No energy to keep the house picked up entirely. I'm "on" 24/7 again in a way.
Someday, I hope, I'll have the energy and the time to write again. But for now I pass by my dusty computer to do "tummy time" with my baby, cuddle with my two-year old, or dance with my four-year old. But a small part of me feels guilt.
I feel guilty for not blogging and commenting on the blogs of people who have been so supportive of me, especially during my pregnancy and my husband's deployment. So I write this with some hope that I haven't offended anyone. I'm just trying to figure things out.
And I write this tonight, thanks to a skunk. My husband is out to sea. Two of our three girls had meltdowns at bedtime (of course, the baby was the only calm one). And then when I brought our dog inside after I got my girls to bed, I discovered she had encountered a skunk in our backyard and they got in each other's hair. Life is never boring. So I need this, my blog, to unwind tonight.
3 comments:
Family first, Kimberly. Your girls will only be little once. Enjoy every moment even the sleep derivation and the tantrums because when they go, so does a little piece of your children's childhood. The writing will wait. If, like me, you need writing for your own sanity, jot down some notes here and there or keep a journal so you don't forget these precious times - you can assuage a lot of guilt if you're writing about your kids :) - but the real writing will keep. And blogging and FB pages and all that will still be here when you have more time. If your oldest is 4, you have a year or less with 3 full-time kids before she's in school - you'll be surprised how quickly a few minutes opens up for writing. I totally get it - my kids were 4, 2 and newborn once too - and I remember feeling frustrated sometimes that I never had "me" time for writing. But now that the oldest one is in college, I'd give a lot to rewind :) Hang in there, and we'll all be here whenever you have time.
P.S. My dogs have gotten skunked too - they always seem to do it at the worst possible times - though when is ever a good time I don't know :)
Oh my what a way to end a day. Our dog got involved with a skunk once and it was bad news. Keep your chin up and keep slogging through. My children are 10, 7 and 4 and I remember when they were babies and thinking I would never be out of the baby stage. It goes by so very fast and we turn around and realize they aren't babies and toddlers anymore. Glad to have found your blog!
I don't think you should feel guilty at all! I think you're in "survival mode" right now. It's so very hard sometimes when the kids are little, and with your husband working so much, well, I can't even imagine.
Sorry about the skunk...gross.
xo
Post a Comment