A Long Winded Good-Bye to Facebook

Dear Friends and Family,

For several months now I have been struggling with my desire to delete my Facebook account. I have decided to go ahead with my decision to delete it, but before I go I wanted to let you know.

First, thank you so much for the tremendous support you've given me through this social media network. Your encouragement during my husband's deployment and when my father passed away meant so much to me, and I am very grateful for all of your thoughts, prayers, and expressions of concern.

I believe Facebook is a great resource for connecting people, but it isn't for everyone. During my husband's deployment I began using Facebook more frequently mainly due to boredom and loneliness. It was very helpful for me to connect with other spouses and families from my husband's ship. I enjoyed reading many status updates that made me laugh after an exhausting day. I felt comforted to know someone was out there listening to me.

Yet, during all of these months when I've been using Facebook I have had this nagging feeling in my gut that it isn't me, that I should be doing something else instead of being on Facebook, and that I maybe just don't get the point of it. (I know it is great to connect humans on an international, continental, and local scale, but I'm still missing the point of it beyond that.)

I don't completely trust Facebook.
I dislike the lack of privacy.
I want to minimize my daughters' information on the Internet.
It consumes my limited free time that I could be using towards my writing, my home, my family.
I feel like it isn't connecting me in a deep way with my friends and family.
I simply don't feel at ease with it.

In a way Facebook is ideal for someone like me: a person who moves frequently, is really awful at keeping in touch with friends, and leans more towards being an introvert. But I have found myself making less of an effort to truly communicate with others beyond status updates. I've stopped emailing, seldom pick up my cell phone, and it's been years since I wrote a letter by hand.

Something happened when I lived alone in my little Costa Rican hut in the cloudforest. I connected with a life void of the overwhelming, technology-driven needs, wants, and demands. I LOVED living with no indoor plumbing, a single lightbulb, a bed shared with tarantulas and scorpions, and nature all encompassing me. Since returning to the U.S. I have missed that life every single day. Not a day goes by that I still don't think about and long for Costa Rica.

And now I am 34 with a wonderful husband and three healthy, happy girls and a fantastic dog. I look around our home and all I see is stuff. Lots and lots and lots of stuff. I can't seem to get closer to my simplistic past life. And I desperately want to for the sake of my daughters.

I am very, very grateful to live in the U.S. So grateful for our freedom, education, health care, government, military, and more. But I need to improve the sphere in which I live and the footprint I leave on this planet.

I value the instant gratification I get by asking a question in Google and finding the answer within a few clicks.
I like reading about the happiness in the lives of friends I haven't seen for over a decade.
I don't really like texting, but I'm learning to work with it.
I love having indoor plumbing, especially hot showers.
I enjoy using my computer for my writing.

I do blog, and in a way it isn't much different than Facebook. Long-winded status updates. Global communication. Pictures. Consumption of time. But I feel comfortable using my blog as a springboard into my writing. It is where my thoughts evolve into written words. It is where I push my mind to think outside of the box. It is where discussions occur that help me as a writer.

I hope this letter to you and my decision to delete my Facebook account doesn't come across as offensive to any of you. I certainly hope you don't read this and think "Kim thinks Facebook is bad and anyone who uses it doesn't value the simplicity of life." That isn't what I think. It is a great resource for connecting, and Facebook users can use it and have deep, significant relationships.

It's just that Facebook isn't for me.

I apologize in advance if my absence from Facebook makes it more work for you to communicate with me. I will try my best to communicate with my friends and family in other ways.

And thank you, truly, for all you've given me. Even those friends of mine with whom I haven't spoken for years and years, I do miss you and miss our friendship and appreciate everything you gave me when we were closer.

I am really looking forward to having Facebook out of my life as it is just the first step I am taking towards improving my life.

With love,
Kim