Mama Kat is hosting her Writers Workshop today, and I've chosen prompt #3 to answer (Describe a difficult moment that you survived.)...
The first words out of my mouth to my husband yesterday when he walked in the door was "I don't think I'm cut out for this." I had a weak moment with a howling newborn in my arms and a screaming toddler in the kitchen around the corner. This had been our entire day, one child screaming or both screaming at the same time. How does any mom or dad do this?
I could handle one child just fine, but two? It's so hard. My toddler's high energy keeps my newborn awake, who then cries and howls from being overly tired. If I take my newborn to a quieter place in the house to get her to fall asleep, then my toddler gets into things that are off limits. Sigh.
We survived yesterday afternoon, but I gave in one time too many to make it through the day: my toddler ate two Hershey kisses, watched an hour of "The Bee Movie" while eating dehydrated blueberries on the white couch, and required my help with activities while my newborn cried. Rocking and nursing did not cut it with my baby; she wanted sleep and to get sleep she needed a dark quiet room.
So how does any parent make it through the day with two children under two years of age? Every mom I've met said the first year is the roughest, and yet they all survived but how? I want to be a stay-at-home mom for my girls, but during moments like yesterday afternoon I shut down my mind so I can ride the tide through. Any helpful hints writer-mamas?
I feel so bad when I see my little girl's face so upset, so frustrated and when my baby cries from being overly-tired...
7 comments:
You are in a tough position. Do not put yourself above bribery. If it makes everyone in the house happier, by all means go for it with gusto.
I used to tell my toddlers "if you keep being fussy and crabby, I will assume your tired, and be forced to put you down for a nap."
My kids are exactly two years apart so my older one was probably a little more indepentend than yours, but I just had to remind myself I couldn't be everything to everyone. And that what everyone else did, didn't always work for us. Or what I wanted to do, didn't always work for us.
I actually thought when the baby first became really mobile was the hardest. Take advantage of the inmobility while you can is my advice.
Sometimes, in order to preserve your sanity, I can understand how you might just go ahead and pop a movie in or give a snack out. It's ok. It does get easier.
Like the other commentors, I say "pop in the movie!" Do not feel guilty, it's your house and they are your kids. But, in times of need, leave the baby in the crib, leave the toddler screaming in her room, go to yours and cry. It releases pent up tension and the deep breaths help with the stress. I used to do it at least once a week!
Yikes, sounds like a rough day! Mine are 2 and 10 months, so I know the feeling...I had to "contain" the toddler while I fed and put the baby down....often times I would put him in his crib or his room while I put the baby down, I figured there wasn't MUCH trouble he could get into while in his room or crib....no knives, no sharp instruments, no food or breakables...worst he could do was empty his drawers....and believe me HE DID.
But at least the tired newborn would be asleep and fed!
Good luck, and I hate to coin a phrase...but it does get easier
What you described, to me is perfectly normal. But its damm hard too. When they are so little each day is a struggle because they rely soley on you. I had 3 kids under 4, my daughter was 4, my son was 2 and I had a newborn, and it was really hard. but it does get better, really it does. You sound like a wonderful mother, keep remembering that xx
It is so hard, I know. When my third was born I had a four year old and a two year old. It's a challenge to remain positive and patient, even though I love my kids more than anyone else and they do bring me joy. I keep a parent's prayer for patience posted on the side of my refridgerator and I say it several times a day, seriously. It helps me stay calm when they are screaming. It's getting easier now in some ways, but the youngest is in the most challenging part of being 2.
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