A couple of weeks ago I started reading a book by Jodee Blanco, titled Please Stop Laughing at Me... In the first couple of pages the author describes her anxieties of going to a high school reunion because of how she was treated by her classmates back in high school. Jodee writes "When I second-guess myself at work, it isn't my own voice I hear in the back of my mind, it's the sound of my classmates from long ago . . . laughing at me, beating me down."
People, events, experiences, and places of our past may have various types of grips on our minds, which twine together in a giant umbilical cord linking us to our past. They may supply nourishment through positive, motivating memories, but they may also tether us into a locked state of mind when certain memories come forward in our mind.
Although my daughter is 21 months old and definitely has her own distinct belly button, I have learned that the umbilical cord that once connected the two of us is still present in mind and heart. As a mother, I will always feel this tie with my children.
What is the significance of the umbilical cord for me as a writer? Is it a lifeline supplying me with life or am I supplying life to the other end of it? I think it is both.
People (both loved and not-so-loved of my past and present), events (both minute and grandiose), experiences (both positive and negative), and places (both frequented and once seen) all supply me with words and images and ideas for my writing. In turn, I supply them with continual life by writing about them, either directly or indirectly. Memories that receive sustenance continue to live, at least in writing. Although writing and reading about certain memories may be so difficult that we think they may be better off left in a box, locked and shoved into a black hole, they may help another person get through a similar experience. Writing and reading about memories that are fondly thought of may seem only important to the individual who experienced the memory, but they help others find meaning in daily moments that may not appear worthy of becoming a memory.
3 comments:
I enjoy reading about others memories and writing about my own (it's one reason I like Mama Kat's Writers Workshops). I learn a lot from writing them out and learn to let go of the ones that still can cripple me (if they were bad memories). I can also use them in my writing by fictionalizing parts to make a characters experiences more authentic. (Speaking of using my own memories not others memories.)
I still feel that umbilical cord to my high school. As such, I haven't gone to any reunions. Not because anyone made fun of me, but because I'm not sure that who I am now is the person I want them to see I've become. Does that make sense?
Interesting post.
Great Blog! I will be stopping by a lot.
Oh by the way I am glad I stumbled across your blog.
I wanted to invite you to a message board for moms.
http://www.chatterscene.com
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